


‘With You…And Sam’ – The Words Trapped In The Ellipsis

by sandean_cas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apple Pie Life (Supernatural), Castiel Can Hear Longing (Supernatural), Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Castiel is Bad at Feelings (Supernatural), Castiel is Loved (Supernatural), Castiel is Not Innocent (Supernatural), Castiel is Not Oblivious (Supernatural), Castiel is Not Okay (Supernatural), Castiel is Older Than Dean Winchester, Castiel is So Done (Supernatural), Castiel is So Done with Dean Winchester, Castiel is a Winchester (Supernatural), Castiel's Tan Trenchcoat (Supernatural), Castiel's Tie (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time Having Sex, Dean Winchester Does Not Get Pie, Dean Winchester Does Not Listen to Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester Takes Care of Castiel, Dean Winchester Talks About Feelings, Dean Winchester Teaches Castiel About Sex, Dean Winchester Teaches Castiel to be Human, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean Winchester is Loved, Dean Winchester is Not Oblivious, Dean Winchester is Protective of Castiel, Domesticity in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture - Bunker Breakup Scene, Episode: s15e09 The Trap, Episode: s15e09 The Trap - Dean Winchester's Prayer Scene, Eye Sex, Feels, First Kiss, Fluff in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Nearly Human Castiel (Supernatural), Pie, Purgatory, Quote: "When are we gonna do something about this unspoken thing between us?" "What unspoken thing?", Quote: He's in love with humanity (Supernatural), Quote: I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition. (Supernatural), Sam Winchester Whump, Sam Winchester is Not Amused, Sam Winchester is Not Okay, Sam Winchester is Scarred For Life, Sam Winchester is So Done, Sex in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, sock on the door knob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22404343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandean_cas/pseuds/sandean_cas
Summary: Castiel fights to remain still under Dean’s ministrations as he swipes his thumb over the creases and sunken areas near Cass’ eyes. “You’re aging.”“I am.”“Are you – do you feel afraid.”He looks Dean straight in the eye and with sincerity says: “No.” Because he isn’t afraid. He can still hear Dean’s prayer echoing inside his skull, like a song that had been seared into his brain. “I have you … and Sam to help me.”“You do.” Dean’s voice is rough. Castiel realises how close to the things that should remain unspoken he’s treading, but he can’t help himself. Not when Dean is staring at him like that, eyes almost begging him to be the one to take the plunge.“I –” Castiel clears his throat and squares his shoulders. “Maybe now I can grow old with you…” his pause is deliberate. His voice cutting off more abruptly than it should, leaving Dean with no choice than to recognise the pause for what it is; a fallacy. The barrier between what Dean perceives is right and wrong. The blockade separating the unspoken from the harrowing truth they’ve both known subconsciously for years.And Castiel can’t bear to break it.Not yet.“… and Sam.”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 9
Kudos: 203





	‘With You…And Sam’ – The Words Trapped In The Ellipsis

“Where’s Sam?” Castiel asks.

“I think he went to get pie.” Dean barks with laughter.

Amused, Castiel can only imagine Dean taunting Sam about forgetting the pie, and Sam… getting so frustrated that he storms out just to prove Dean wrong.

“Are – are we okay?” Dean’s voice is just as raw and vulnerable as it was in Purgatory.

“Of course.”

Dean seems unsure. “I – I would completely get it if you still hate me.”

Castiel lets out a wry laugh. “Hate you?” he lays a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I could never hate you. You know this.”

Dean lets out a tense breath. “Man. You had me going for a while there. I didn’t know – if it was enough.”

“Your prayer.” Castiel murmurs in understanding. “Dean. I heard ever word. Every breath, ever emotion that you were feeling… I felt it too.”

Dean’s eyes crack open, his stare vulnerable, letting his emotions float to the surface. He knows Dean understands what he’s trying to say. And, though Dean might understand, that doesn’t mean he’s willing to put it into words. Most days Castiel is thankful for it. Most days he’s sure that what he feels – and what Dean feels – isn’t an illusion. But to come so close in Purgatory and to never have it actualised… that pains him.

“Enjoy your pie Dean.” He tries to keep his voice even.

“Hey.” Dean rests a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

They stand still for a moment, just staring at each other, sizing each other up and gauging the situation. What Castiel sees in Dean’s eyes is what he’s always seen. Love. Adoration. Concern. All in endlessly abundant quantities

“Dean?” Castiel’s voice breaks them out of their reverie.

One of Dean’s hands reaches forward slowly, inching closer and closer to his face, as though giving Castiel time to pull away. Castiel fights to remain still under Dean’s ministrations as he swipes his thumb over the creases and sunken areas near Cass’ eyes. “You’re aging.” Dean’s voice is emotionless, even though his eyes speak multitudes.

“I am.” Castiel agrees, still stunned from the feel of Dean’s fingers touching him so intimately.

“Are you – do you feel afraid.”

He looks Dean straight in the eye and with sincerity says: “No.”

Because he isn’t afraid. He can still hear Dean’s prayer echoing inside his skull, like a song that had been seared into his brain. He heard every word Dean had said. And even the words that he couldn’t say. Because that’s how he’d grown up, because he doesn’t think you can hunt and be happy. Castiel understands. He understands more than Dean realises.

His next words come out more choked than intended. “I have you … and Sam to help me.”

“You do.” Dean’s voice is rough. Castiel realises how close to the things that should remain unspoken he’s treading, but he can’t help himself. Not when Dean is staring at him like that, eyes almost begging him to be the one to take the plunge.

“I –” Castiel clears his throat and squares his shoulders. “Maybe now I can grow old with you…” his pause is deliberate. His voice cutting off more abruptly than it should, leaving Dean with no choice than to recognise the pause for what it is; a fallacy. The barrier between what Dean perceives is right and wrong. The blockade separating the unspoken from the harrowing truth they’ve both known subconsciously for years .

And Castiel can’t bear to break it. Not yet.

“… and Sam.”

Dean’s eyes sparkle in the bunker’s lights. “I want to grow old with you too…” he whispers. Castiel can hear Dean’s heart pounding. He can see his hands, clenching and unclenching at his side. The “… and Sam.” he croaks out is nothing short of pathetic.

The smile on Castiel’s face feels flimsy and fake. It’s not Dean’s fault and he knows that, but it’s just been so long. So _unspoken_ that sometimes he starts to think it’s just his imagination.

“Cass wait!” Dean’s hand grabs the collar of his coat and he spins him around to face him again.

“I –” Dean’s eyes flit from side to side, and his gulps are audible. If this goes on for much longer, Castiel is worried that Dean might pass out from lack of oxygen.

“It’s okay Dean.” He assures. “You’re enough for me. You don’t have to.”

He sees Dean consider his idea. His eyes are fraught with terror.

“I am stronger…” Dean blurts. “… Happier.” Dean stares at him directly. “I feel like my life has meaning… I feel complete… with you…”

Castiel waits. He can see the ‘and Sam’ just hovering on the tip of Dean’s tongue.

But Dean remains utterly silent.

“…And Sam?” Castiel asks, his breath stuttering out. Hope flares up inside him once more, he’d held a candle for Dean so long that he thought the flame might have been snuffed out. It isn’t. It roars to life, fuelled by the determination in Dean’s eyes and the love he sees shining back at him.

“With you.” Dean repeats. “With you. Period.”

…

Sam walks into the bunker almost jumping with delight. He is _so_ ready to slam this pie into Dean’s face. Dean says he always forgets the pie. Let’s see who forgets what when they get a face full of whipped cream.

Hmm… Dean isn’t in the kitchen. Sam shrugs. His room then.

Sam practically runs all the way to Dean’s room, the pie clutched tightly in front of him.

And all of a sudden, he’s falling. Tumbling face first into Dean’s pie.

He curses the universe as he spits out chunks of cherry filling and wipes the whipped cream out of his eyes.

How did Sam fall anyway? It’s not like the bunker floors are bumpy or littered with stuff.

Glancing behind him, he kicks his foot, shaking off the beige trench-coat that somehow managed to get wrapped around his shoe.

Huh.

He cocks his head, staring at it accusingly. It’s not like Cass to leave this lying around. It’s not like Cass to take it off in the first place.

Why would –

Sam stares at the coat in his hands… then his eyes drift to Dean’s shoe about three feet away… then finally to the sock on the door knob.

Sam knows that Dean always jokes about putting a sock on the door. But hook ups aren’t allowed at the bunker. The only female hunters they know are Jody, Donna and Claire and Sam’s pretty sure that Dean wouldn’t.

He glances down at the trench-coat once more, wondering if the whipped cream is making him hallucinate. If Sam’s math is correct… Dean and Cass are having sex.


End file.
